Questions and Answers (Q/A). Humor.
Q. How many UL students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three. One to change the lightbulb and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.
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Q. Did you hear An Post just recalled their latest stamps?
A. They had pictures of Limerick players on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.
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Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Limerick fan in the road? A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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Q. If you see a Limerick fan on a bike why should you never swerve to hit him? A. It might be your bike.
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Q. What do Limerick fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of winning an All Ireland.
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Q What do you have when 100 Limerick fans are buried up to their neck in sand? A. Not enough sand.
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Q. What do Limerick men use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
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Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Limerick fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A. Shoot the Limerick fan…twice.
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Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at
Trinity?
A. With a restraining order.
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A severe storm rumbled through Carlow last week and
destroyed the
entire
town: $10 worth of damage was reported.
————————————–=
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through
the Carlow
campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
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Q. What’s the first thing a U.C.D girl does when
she wakes up in
the
morning?
A. Walks home.
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Q. How can you tell if a Trinity student is
heterosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!
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Q. What does a IT student call a D.C.U student after
graduation?
A. Boss.
(IT = Institute of Technology, not info tech)
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Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in
Carlow?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile
away.
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Q. Did you hear that the library at Trinity burned
down?
A. Naturally, the students were very upset….some
of the books
weren’t
coloured-in yet.
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Q. Why do Trinity graduates put a copy of their
diploma in the window
of
their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicap spaces.
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Q. How do you get a IT grad off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.
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Q. What do tornadoes and graduates from IT’s have in
common?
A. They both end up in trailer parks.
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Q. How many Athlone IT students does it take to
change a lightbulb?
A. None – Westmeath looks better in the dark.
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Q. How many Trinity students does it take to change
a lightbulb?
A. One – he holds the bulb and the world revolves
around him
—————————————-
Q. How many UL students does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A. Three. One to change the lightbulb and two to
figure out how to
get
high
off the old one.
——————————————-
Q. Did you hear An Post just recalled their latest
stamps?
A. They had pictures of Limerick players on them
and
people couldn’t
figure
out which side to spit on.
—————————
Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in
the
road and a dead
Limerick
fan in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
——————————-
Q. If you see a Limerick fan on a bike why should
you never swerve to
hit
him?
A. It might be your bike.
——————————-
Q. What do Limerick fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of winning an All
Ireland.
———————————–
Q What do you have when 100 English fans are buried
up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
————————————-
Q. What do Cork men use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
———————————-
Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a
rattlesnake, and a
Kerry man. You have a gun with two bullets. What
should
you do?
A. Shoot the Kerry man…twice.
